Cheryl Frommelt MS LCPC LMFT
Clinical Director, Fox Valley Institute for Growth and Wellness
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor
Fox Valley Institute for Growth and Wellness
640 N. River Rd. Suite 108
Naperville, IL 60563
(630) 718-0717 x 210
How Do You Help Your Teen Manage Peer Pressure in High School or College?
Peers naturally influence our teen’s lives. The influence can be either positive or negative in nature. It is human nature to listen to and learn from
others in their age group. As kids get older, in high school and college, negative peer pressure can get in the way academically, behaviorally or
Let’s discuss 5 ways to help your teen manage peer pressure in high school
1. Encourage your child to take part in positive activities with positive
people that they can feel good about.
2. Listen to your child when they talk to you about peer situations. Don’t
overreact, lecture, shame or blame them.
3. Teach your child to foresee potential situations that may lead to trouble
and role-play saying “no”.
4. Get to know your child’s friends.
5. Develop a back-up plan when your child is in a situation they can’t handle.
Dan Peterson MS LCPC
Certified Trainer for the Nurtured Heart Approach
Owner of The Compass 4 Life
(630) 420-2596 ext. 2
How Do You Help Your Child Resist Peer Pressure by Building a Moral Compass?
The process of building a moral compass is occurring 24/7 whether you know it or not. You can’t not teach your children about values, character and how to treat others. Every conversation, interaction and moment you are in their presence you are modeling to them what you value……simply by what you notice.
Unfortunately when it comes to teaching children about character, morals and values, our timing is pretty poor. Generally, conversations about these important words occur right after one of them have been violated. Think about it. When do you talk to your child about respect, honesty and hard work? Most parents admit that it is after their child has been disrespectful, has lied or is being lazy.
How open to your words of wisdom are your children during these moments? Do they take in what you are saying and aspire to be more respectful? Do you realize that in these moments you are actually teaching them the opposite of what you want? The more you talk to them about respect after they have been disrespectful, the more likely your message becomes “I believe that you are a disrespectful person (because this is where you are spending your time and energy as the parent). As a result, your child is vulnerable to believe that they are disrespectful, lazy and dishonest, resulting in more of the same behavior.
Consider a complete 180 degrees shift in your time, energy and attention. Identify your top 5 core values…..the character traits you want to emulate and see your children demonstrate. Once you have these identified, begin to confront your child with in the moment evidence of when they are demonstrating those qualities. Take the words from above (respect, honest, hard work) and specifically point out to your children when they are showing these qualities. Your children will be more open to hear what you have to say, will begin to believe that they possess these qualities and as a result will demonstrate more and more behavior congruent with their beliefs. This is the point where they have a solid internal moral compass that will help them resist peer pressure…..especially when they need to the most.